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Mother of all beach parties – Kineff Beach 2007

The mother of all beach parties is about to take place this Saturday on the outskirts of Aberdeen. Bringing together some of the best local djs from the local underground dance scene. I hear they are coming from as far-a-field as Tilly-Cooootry and story book glen.

The Line Up

Since the last old beach party in Kineff in the year 2000 has there been a multiple tent madness. The party will consist of the Pigeon Project & Syntax House Tent, Dan-sin Techno Tent and Nick’s Acid House & Hip-Hop Tent.

Line Up

Pigeon Project & Syntax House Tent

Mr Man
Jo-D & Lunik sun rise set
Hyepr Draw Orchstra
Kev Reid

Dan Sin Techno Tent

Brian Henderson
Doc Watson
Shean Flesh
Gav Fri

Nick’s Acid House Tent
Nil Munny
Kid Pro Quo
More to be confirmed

Rules to obey at Aberdeen Beach Party

Littering – Reason afterwards we have to tidy up. However good news is, if you do happen to litter and drop a small chewing gum rapper by accident because you have a had couple too many shandy’s. As a penalty you have to take away one bag of rubbish. However, $20 US dollars goes to a special ‘Rubbish Collecting’ first prize for the best Rubbish Collector.

Swimming – For those of you from far lands like Weedgie-ville and Aboyne, and have never seen it before but the big blue wavey thing next to the tents and people dancing is called the sea. The sea is very cold, entering it would be at your own peril. No im talking about sticking your toe in it. That itself is dangerous, wait a second that is your toe now completely numb. You can hit that toe with a sledgehammer and it would still be ok. Therefore swimming is a bad idea. To let you know sharks go to that bay to eat the dolphins. So guys no swimming. Now girls, get those bikini’s looked out, its going to be great, now when you see the blue wavey thing on bay watch it has a lighter blue, doesn’t matter that shitty looking green stuff is actually seaweed and the colour of the sea is a very dark blue, don’t be fooled its both actually the same. Life Guard Jolly is always there to save you. So yes Girls its safe to go swimming, or even a wee paddle.

Farting – Yes farting is encouraged. It help warms your bot. According to bowlcut Victoria Beckham takes medication to stop her farting. He reckons a lot of girls have this medication. Girls leave that stuff at home, and enjoy those warm roasting rippers when the darkness of midnight and the chill kicks in.

Sunrise – 4.14am
(drink) Don’t miss the sunrise. it’s the most beautiful point. that’s the best part, over in 5 minutes, then the day begins again. Therefore be sensible try having only one bottle of buckie rather than two, and end up shouting to loud, falling over and sleeping some how in the nettles for 8 hours. I know it can be an enjoyable treat, and for some reason you get an enjoyable sleep. Two hours later, when it stings like a bitch and you cant bathe all your body in the dirty wee ditch. When you head to the blue wavey thing for a dip, cause it’s the best thing you can do trying to beat the moo, thinking ’wish I seen the sunrise, cause now I feel shit!’

Party – Dancing, Drinking and Meeting new people. Hello ‘Im Timmy”, ‘Hello im Doc Watson’, Hello ‘im Jo-d’. ‘Yes hello im Mr Man’ spiffing to meet you too. Get the idea people. Just remember everyone there has made a big effort to get it all sorted; so do us one favour and have a good time.

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